Blink--a recent book by Malcolm Gladwell--cites investigate to reserve the thought that a person's face can do more than mirror the individual's mood. . .it can create a mood for that individual. That is, if you start your day with a defeated look, before long you will come to be downhearted, even angry. This, of course, reverses the most generally standard thought pattern, that the mood comes first, then the facial response. The moral: Set the tone for your day with a happy, distinct face, and good things are likely to follow.
Well, if our facial expressions impact us that much, how much does our countenance impact others? Plenty, as you know. How we look to population shapes the impression we convey. Example: When I speak or direct a seminar, within a consolidate of minutes I can identify audience members who are extremely curious and supportive, along with those who appear bored, distracted, confused, and sometimes hostile. You can do the same in conversations and in enterprise meetings. Sure, once in awhile we will misinterpret the way man looks. Yet our guess will be correct most of the time.
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Here is a classic case of a man who felt misinterpreted: Though he was extremely flourishing and important in his community, what struck most population was his very dour--almost sour--expression. He confided to a friend: "You know, population think me glum and unfriendly. They think I'm a scowler. I try to assure them I don't mean anyone by my demeanor, because I'm not aware of a sullen expression. Even my mom used to tell me I needed to work on the perception I'm creating."
Remember that the face includes the eyes. Cicero said it well: "The eyes are windows to the soul." Look away from man while you are reporting on a work assignment, and your shifty eyes might advise you are hiding something. Blink excessively, and you could appear insecure. Close your eyes even for a short instant, and they will thinkyou are ignoring them, or--even worse--drifting off to sleep.
More positively, profess steady eye perceive to reflect poise and credibility. notice how many population take off their glasses when they want to impress you while they talk. They want no barrier between you and their eyes.
Beware of frowning. When you are development a sales call, a frown indicates to your anticipation that you don't feel good about the procedure of the presentation. You create discomfort for both of you, and lose the likelihood of development a sale. When your supervisor tells you about a new arrival for operating the department, your frown could advise your unwillingness to think the change.
The most pleasing look: One that fits the tone of the meeting or conversation, and reinforces your message. Johnny Carson and Bob Hope mastered the art of smiling and beaming at the standard time. They could milk more laughter out of a joke, even a botched joke, than other comedians could because of their reinforcing facial expressions.
Similarly, the best photographs taken of athletes in the most intense moments of a game showcase their faces, which mirror determination, confidence, exertion, exhaustion, discontentment and resilience. Golfer Tiger Woods has attracted millions of fans by his wide range of grimaces, grins and concentration--just as Arnold Palmer did during the 1960s.
From an opposite viewpoint, we dislike the speaker who smiles or smirks when talking about life and death matters. When you break bad news, you need a solemn face that matches the message.
The next time you're in a social setting, pay extra attentiveness to the population nearby you. I'll bet the ones you will want to meet are the men and women with animated, cheerful expressions. Likewise, population will think you attractive, even think of you as a leader, when you smile, nod in bargain and give other signs of warmth and openness.
When I coach executives and other professionals, we videotape our simulated conversations. The taping and the critique that follows pinpoint what my clients need to improve in their demeanor. Once we have discussed qoute areas, we videotape supervene up conversations, to see what improvements we can foster.
So, while you work diligently on the content of an interview, sales call, meeting agenda and speech, remember to "put your best face forward."
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